Dating Advice From The Perpetually Dateless: Issue 1

Some things to consider when you're single and dateless.

I love giving people advice. It is honestly one of my favorite things to do, even though most of the time my advice is solely taken from the experience of others and the various articles and blogs I read online. I am single and have not dated anyone since my last relationship, so take from me what you will.

Seeing as college guys don’t usually ask girls out on dates but rather meet them and “hangout” or just have sex with them and swerve out the next day, it’s kind of hard to imagine what actual dating entails. But most of the advice I plan on giving you is advice you could use in any dating related situations or even if you’re interested in someone.

Although you may not have been asked out on a date, you probably have had encounters with guys that resembled the same situations most people deal with in the dating world.

My first advice to you all is to take your time finding the person you want to be with. Don’t tell yourself that the first person you think is vaguely attracted to you will be the love of your life. First of all, that’s just fucking dumb. If you think about it, the first person who seems interested in you could literally be a psychotic idiot who prevents you from hanging out with your friends or someone who thinks Donald Trump is America’s savior.

There will be a lot of guys who will find you attractive and interesting at some point in your life, and just because this one guy seems to be attracted to you does not mean that he is the only person on the planet who will think you are a phenomenal person.

The idea that “there are lots of fish in the sea” is extremely accurate in dating because any person you date could turn out to be a piece of trash. Set high standards for yourself and your relationships will thrive! If you settle for being with someone because you think only they will ever be interested in you, you will soon find out that that is not the case. You’re probably only in your late teens or early twenties, so you still have a lot of time to find the perfect person to be with. Don’t ever settle for trash, because you’re a fucking queen and you deserve a relationship that is worth your time and dedication.

Second of all, before you think about dating a specific person, take the time to discover what you want in a relationship and think about whether being with that person will give you what you want. If you know that you like to spend your weekends relaxing and having a good time with your friends and family, don’t get with someone who doesn’t value relaxation and family time. In the end, the person you’re with should have at least some of the same values as you do for the relationship to work.

Would you really want to date someone who doesn’t value their family as much as you do? What exactly would that entail for your own future family? If you’re excited for shitty family get-togethers and arguments about the importance of family reunions, then go for it! But if you think that this would be a deal-breaker in the future, it most likely will be.

The idea that opposites attract is valid, and I won’t deny it, but the definition of “opposites” refers more to your interests and passions rather than your values. If you're with someone who likes rock music and you like pop music, you can talk about the differences and teach each other new things, which could make for a fantastic time. But if this person shits on your political views or gets upset when you spend Sunday afternoons in church with your family, is it really worth investing your time in the relationship?

You’re not going to suddenly become a conservative Republican and your family won’t just disappear because you have a new boyfriend, so take those things into consideration and don’t just bank on the “opposites attract” theory because it won’t lead to a healthy relationship.

Essentially, don’t date fuckboys who don’t value the same things that you do. Although it might seem like a good idea at the beginning because you’re “so in love”, it won’t lead to a healthy relationship. The main point to take out of this first issue in the series of the perpetually dateless articles is that you shouldn’t settle for just anyone.

Figure out what matters to you and only begin a relationship for the right reasons.