Your Past Shouldn't Be A Secret In Your Relationship

Exes and mistakes and struggles. Oh my!

"There is no use talking about the past, you can't change it."

Well, that might be true. But there's another quote about the past that I like much better than that one.

"The past can hurt. But, you can either run from it or learn from it."

Yes. This quote was from "The Lion King." But my man Rafiki hammered this issue about the past right on the head. In my opinion, we, as humans who are blessed with the ability to have relationships and love one another, need to start learning again in this way.

Many times I've heard that some things from your past shouldn't be discussed with your significant other. It should stay where it belongs. In the past. There was a time when I thought this was absolutely true. But, now I have a different point of view. Of course, there are various exceptions that I won't go into in this article. But, overall, this should be the case in most cases.

Why should you open up about your past to your partner anyway? Well, for one, it will open up mutual trust between you and your partner. If you're willing to talk about rough patches, past relationships, etc. then if you're able to learn from it and grow stronger from it, it will cause your relationship to grow and flourish.

Ultimately, I don't know why it is such a big deal to talk about your exes. Most people have ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends. I understand that a girl I'm dating has more than likely had a previous boyfriend. I accept that another man has kissed her and held her tight. And it's OK... because all of that is in the past.

The past hurts and if your significant other is constantly talking about her past relationships then that might be a red flag. But, in my opinion, talking about an ex shouldn't be as taboo as we make it out to be.

Rough patches are rough. Obviously. And talking about past rough patches can be rough too. Personal struggles, parents getting divorced, abuse, etc. All of those things are horrible to talk about. But, sometimes, we should bite the bullet and talk about it to our significant others to gain closure. Getting closure over a struggle can be so blissful.

So, readers. Don't run from your past! Learn from it! Embrace it! Don't be afraid to talk about it with your partner! Be open to your significant other because secrets don't make friends. And, they especially don't make good lovers.

– What are your thoughts on the ideas above? Share your feedback in the comments below.