How can romantic relationships be maintained?

Fabrizio Fusco
Founder at Body-Soul Evolution Coaching
70w ago

“Love in a relationship doesn’t exist.” How many times people have said that? You hear that again and again from people frustrated about their relationship.

Twin flames and soul mates don’t exist, they say. And many of us, by now, are convinced of that.

Why We Believe That Love Is Not Real

Love is not real, that’s why it’s impossible to find it when you’re looking for it. It’s like a drug: it makes you feel good but it’s addictive.

What people call love is a relationship based on possession, control and fear. They promise to love and honor each other. And often people really believe that they can maintain the promises made.

A few months pass by and the promises are shattered one after the other. Only resentment remains and they hurt each other.

Without even being aware of it love ends.

Yes, the couple may even remain together because they’re afraid to be alone, afraid of judgement. But where is the flame they called love? They just possess each other: “He’s mine”, “She’s mine”.

That’s why people think that real love doesn’t exist.

There is a mistake that most of us make. We think we can put our happiness in the partner’s hands. Happiness never comes from outside of us. Happiness is generated from inside of us.

As soon as we make another person responsible of our happiness the relationship is doomed. In fact, no matter how much we love another person, we don’t know what they have in their mind, what their expectations are, what their dreams are.

Find your happiness and keep it in your heart. Don’t put it in the hands of the other. The light, the strength of that happiness will radiate and spread to the other people. And with it love as well will be generated. Because, yes, love, twin flames and soul mates do exist.

Now you may ask: “So, love is useless? A love relationship doesn’t make us happy?”

But this is not the point. As Miguel Ruiz explains we expect that through a relationship we can receive something we don’t have, something we lack. Inevitably we end up disappointed.

Instead, if we enter a relationship without this need, the story would be different and love could spread outside.